Ssshh..! they are my confessions

yes! its true man! its been too long since i wrote here. seems like im forgetting i have a tumblr. lol. and last week, my sis informed me she just followed me on tweeter. i was like, huh?! i got a tweeter account? are you serious?! ok now, let me share a bit what happened for the last few months. wowwooot~ few??! its almost a year! hahaha. sorry man! my bad that this tumblr does not have any notification email saying i dint update him. lol.

Work Life

its been 10 months since i started working in this company. and the result? i hate this job. but yes, i do like it a bit coz it gives high pay. lol. but seriously the management for this department is lousy. and yes, the manager is always thinking bout cost effective thing rather than to spend some on us. i mean, we don’t have our own pantry, our own rest room, even praying room. gosh! what we got is next door pantry in front of people from other departments and a tiny corner for gamers with 2 comfy bean bags. and another corner for pray. that’s it! pity is it? and even for the last 10 months working, I’ve been sick for almost every month. yea.. u may say that my body is weak. whatever. but before i joined this lovely place, i got sick once a year. huh? yes! got the difference? or should i buy some antibiotic to enhance my inner army. huhu.

Love Life

My god! i hate to talk bout this part of life coz i wont stop one i start. hehe. its been very tiring journey to find someone and yes, i found one. but still, you know. almost a year with him and for everything we’ve been through, he did something that i dint ever imagine. never! but yea, he did. yes, i still love him but thinking bout what he did makes me cry and hate him even more. i can’t find the courage to love him or anyone else. then, this guy came. we’ve been friends since in our mother’s tummy. lol. when first met him, he has a gf and i have my bf. both couples planning to engage. but then, nothing came up as we planned. its Allah’s plan. alhamdulillah for His qada’ and qadar. Then, its us who getting engaged. me and my tummy’s friend.

its been a great journey. fighting and everything. well, i will fight with anyone in this journey. hahaha. silly! its a habit i guess. people don’t get what i meant. so i will fight. bam! bam! bush! bang! lol.

but now, someone came in. old ex. he said bout being sad after found out I’m engaged and he’s been trying to pair with 3 girls but none success, me the longest most keras kepala who can stand with him without a single date for 8 months and on/off call and msg for 3 months. dem! if only u came in that year. I’ve been waiting for you for a year! a year man! i never wait for a person that long. u are my first love. its been a painful year without you; after what u did and i did for us. but u were pleased to be alone without telling me anything. so, I’m off. no point for me to wait. seriously, I’m sorry for what i did, yelled, screamed, cried on etc. i will pray for your very best.

well i am tired of being here at home, doing nothing. i just hope that 27 will come very fast, as a lightning maybe. want to do something for myself. 

planning to get myself a take off to an island or somewhere to find some peace and serenity. well, i bet after i get the first payment i will definitely go to that somewhere. 

i do tired of these electronic devices too. it give somewhat bad effect to my body and of course, my routine. sleep late at night, facing the monitor more than I should etc.

i’m off now. resting from this kind of electromagnetic wavelengths. chiow! 

AKU DAH DITERIMA BEKERJA!!!

betol la. nampak tak muka suci murni tulus mulus aku ni? hehe. yes, i got a job. as network analyst in a company from France. wow! magnificente! suka hati aku je. 

27 ni bermula la training aku bertempat di Renaissance Hotel Kuala Lumpur. peh! 5 stars tu beb.. setakat nak demand Equatorial tu makan habuk je la. mak aii riak pulak! maap! hehe. insyaAllah, stay kat hotel selama 6 hari. tak tahu la apa yang dia nak bebel nanti. dengar je la selaku pekerja yang berdedikasi dan berwawasan. muahahaha! one of the staffs said the food is superb. mmg time makan je la aku punctual. malam adalah aktiviti sendiri. faham-faham la ye.. 

4 Julai bakal memulakan hari pertama. nebes la. but cool je. Mr Manager tu sempoi gila. masa interview siap pesan, after 7 o’clock say bye-bye ok? no more extra work. bibit-bibit aku suka kerja ni bermula masa tu la. well, aku adalah orang yang tak suka hal kerja bawak balik rumah. boleh stress tau! 

interview kerja ni.. mak aii! 4 level. payah gila! tapi aku rasa ada lagi interview yang lagi thrill sebab ada test pasal programming. mampos! even nama aku short-listed pun, aku tak pergi interview tu. takkan aku nak tulis ‘i can’t remember how i did my programming and how to do this’ kt kertas tu? malu UTP weh! hehe. jangan ikut mcm aku ok. ada interview kau pegi je. pengalaman tu yang penting.

company ni 3 level interview tu buat kat UTP. memang cemerlang UTP kalau bab-bab organize career exhibition (CE) ni, kat UTP dipanggil TEC. masa first day CE, takde pasang niat pape pun sebab nama aku takde untuk interview hari tu. so plan nak participate career talk je. sekali member aku kata nama aku ada untuk interview dgn company yang aku kerja ni. gelabah la kejap. sebab memang tak prepare langsung. nasib baik pagi tu budak rumah aku suggest aku print resume and pakai baju kurung. ok la kan dari jeans. baca je pamphlet yang member aku amek dr booth dy. ingat la apa patut. almost noon, dah habis cuak masa tu, aku masuk untuk first stage. bismillah dan kaki kanan. dia tanya soalan wajib interview la. cerita pasal diri sendiri, achievements, disappointment, briefly elaborate pasal case study, done! case study aku dapat tsunami. untung pulak baru bace berita pasal tsunami kat jepun. alhamdulillah. lepas tu, debor untuk second stage. lepas!

second stage masa second day CE. pakai business attire la baru macho. hehe. ada kawan-kawan aku yang tak dapat. sorry but try again next time. doesn’t mean u fail this one, u’ll fail the others. rezeki lain-lain, Tuhan dah aturkan semuanya. for this, group work. buat plan rumah idaman. mainly they are focusing on communication skills, interaction with others, how do u cooperate , your stress level etc which is not related to ur knowledge at all. group aku memang sempoi. gelak je sepanjang discuss and lukis plan tu. however, we managed siap. setel that stage, wait for them to paste the name list who are qualified to proceed at the info board. success! 

third stage mmg technical nak mampos! and being interviewed with a very technical person, i guess i am a dead meat! even, at the end of the second stage he did warned us not to assume the answer because he already knew it. tawakal je masa tu dan berfikir, insyaAllah kalau dah ditetapkan rezeki kat sini, ada nanti. i was the first top ten yang masuk that room. right after i finished, i gave some tips for my friends, hoping maybe one of us will work there. 

then, saat yang sangat aku tak suka, penantian. masa ni aku dah tolak offer one company kat cyberjaya. it offers job just by phone interview. alasan yang HR dia bagi kat aku is manager tu dah suka kat resume aku and masa phone interview. sorry miss, i have to decline the offer. then, another company kat cyberjaya jugak. later, a company in penang and my former internship placement. then, masa balik cuti. online internet sepanjang masa sampaikan that one day dah penat tunggu. so off to kampung. tenangkan fikiran. balik rumah, online and yes! i succeed! 

fourth level with the manager. tougher. a package rojak from level 1, 2 and 3. but he is very friendly and nice. he’s from UK. after several obstacles faced, i received the offer letter. alhamdulillah. semua debor tu berbaloi akhirnya. and just for this offer, recently, i rejected offers from a bank and a company which i can’t remember its industry. my rezeki is with this company. insyaAllah.. 

better i write this in Malay, biar menusuk kalbu sikit. hehe

aku tak faham budak-budak yang boleh bangga keluar berjalan, dating, shopping pakai duit mak bapak. well, kalau bawah 22 tahun tu still consider student lagi ok la kot. but as student pun kau berlagak macam budak dah kerja pulak. euuw! meluat la weh. pakai kereta mak bapak yang bayar. tak thrill la! lepas tu nak demand tu kau punya. wat da hek?! tak sedor diri betol. well, this happen kat one of my friends, even takde la friends sgt pun. bukanlah aku nak suruh keje cepat just beringat la yang kau tu tengah habiskan harta mak bapak. tak gitu? kesian mak bapak kau bangun pagi-pagi, sengkang mata buat kerja sampai petang, hujung bulan dapat gaji, kau pulak mentakedarah mcm tu duit kau. ish. umur muda, kulit mulus lagi, tenaga hebat lagi tapi nak kerah tenaga mak bapak. patut ke? 

aku tak faham orang yang berulang-ulang kali bgtau semua orang dalam dunia yang dia tengah bercinta dgn si polan bin bapak polan ni. baru bercinta tu! tunggu kawin baru bagitau tak boleh ke? semak la! time bercinta puji menggunung la kan, taik pun wangi. nanti kang kalau dah broke up teddy bear comel buat teman tidur kau sume dibuang. well, ak dulu-dulu la mcm tu, tapi takde la sampai membuang. akan dipulangkan, insyaAllah. ak belajar dari kesilapan ak dan dia. bukanlah aku nak salahkan takdir tapi memang Tuhan dah tetapkan dia tak layak untuk aku sbb tu jugak Tuhan tunjuk kat aku. takkan nak syg lagi kalau dh nampak depan mata ber’muah-muah’ dengan perempuan lain. dayus la aku kan. hehe. so angkat kaki je la. 

pasal ragam ni aku sambung lagi.. chow!

it’s all about him. today’s post is about love. hippy! i need to write these down so that i’ll never forget. especially when we are going through a war. 

he is nice, charming. a very spontaneous guy. his smile worth million. well, his voice is so friendly. it makes me wanna talk to him all day long. yeay! we never been quiet if we’ve met. not till today. there are many things to tell and share when he is around. there are many things to laugh about. 

he is younger but i may say he is matured enough. for a guy at his age, thinking about getting married and responsibilities come after married is none in the list but not him. 

when the war happened, usually i started it. seldom he is the cause. well, for a girl who is facing that phase per month, it is understandable isn’t it? during war, he keeps in touch. msg. calls. but none were replied then. sorry. my ego is as high as the himalaya that time. he is not good in persuading. he just said what he feels, what he thinks about me all the time since we’ve been together.

he is not that romantic guy. rare. but for special occasion, he is. for my b.day i’ve got a rose made of the feathers. so sweet. it will never die and still remain as it is. nicely attractive red. thank you.

he is very generous. never count each cents he gave. if he have some extra, for sure we’ll go out for movie, eat at Kenny’s. sometimes, we’ll go with his good friend. hangout at mamak. he is paying. nice. 

he is quiet jealous. he is quiet too protective. i did receive a job offer in center of KL which they call it as golden triangle of KL. he is too concern. he does not want me to go to work using public transportation i.e. lrt but he insist me to drive. its ok for him to pay for my fuel and seasonal parking fee as long as i’m driving to my workplace. silly? but that is how he shows his love. he really wants to take care of me. besides, my mom already give him that permission. 

lastly, i do love u. 

bila la nak abis sume ni? penat dah kepala otak ni. penat tau kena fikir belah-bagi nak keje kat mane. bosan tau tak. kau ingat kau besar, kau boleh buat suka hati je kat orang kecik macam aku ni. fak la weh!

patut la gah je nama kau. hish. kalau orang kata taknak tu tak payah la tergedik-gedik nak amik jugak. siap aku offer kau lagi aku bayar ikut yang dalam kontrak tu. serabai. yang menyusahkan diri kau interview orang kecik macam aku yang langsung takde niat pun nak keje ngn kau apsal? aku tak ingin pun nak keje dengan kau tau. sangat-sangat aku tak nak. kerek je kau tu. meluat. geram! 

abes sekarang ni aku pulak tersepit nak kerja. misal aku dah seronok keje kat tempat tu tetiba kau panggil, macam haram tiba-tiba aku nak berhenti pulak kan. kau bukan ada keje kosong pun untuk orang macam aku. abes yang gatal panggil interview tu buat apa? ko panggil la senior-senior aku yang macam pungguk tunggu bulan kat rumah tu. diorang tu pun tak lepas lagi, tiba-tiba kau nak tambah lagi. fak la kau! 

aah, memang aku tengah geram. sebab kau macam fak! 

yazza! i received the offer letter oredy..!!! well, i’ll start working in June. can’t wait…! ooohhh.. this is what i want for many years ago. WORKING!!! but i’ll be missing those long holidays since the company i will work for will provide 24/7 service to its customer. maybe no labor day. ttssskk~ 

now.. MEDICAL CHECK UP. i am totally fit ok? well, maybe an increase in my BMI. well, big appetite nowadays. also, a DRUG TEST? aiya. i don’t even like to go to the clinic to obtain those drug-added-medicines. 

well, just see what i’ll be going through later. all the best for me! :)

huh. this time i wasn’t so sure why he come back in my life. i already accept he is just one of my well-said-relatives. sigh! maybe he just need a friend who understands him. maybe. i guess i’ll stick to that. so long…

a long lost non-blood-related-but-close-to-family guy called. he calls once a month if i don’t lost count. hurm… he’s in Sarawak. wt..??! how he manage to get there? when? why? none of these questions were answered even though i asked him throughout the calls. so, i just nod to whatever he mentioned. 

i was his secret admirer five years back. his nice, seductive voice made me melt away. ahah! silly? he doesn’t even try to make his voice sound seductive, he just need to speak. just SPEAK!!! and i melt down each time he did. wooootttt~ well, during that time i was dying to make he sees me. but none were success then.

three years later, everything seems to twist around. he as me, and i as him. he saw me but i was with someone. hehe. i never left alone for more than a year. a RECORD!!! ecececehhh… :P  

now, i still wondering how is he doing there. if there is a chance, i’m sure i will … teeeeeettttttt! not a statement ok? i hope the best will come for him. 

its not a partnership-business-building. its a relationship. 

the one that i can trust and count on. i had before but did not fill-in this one requirement. GUIDE ME TO THE RIGHT PATH!!!

being supportive is FANTASTIC. but for bad things is F***!!!

… … … .

ohhhh gossshhh! MY FAMILY is my best accompany ever.. love ya!

p/s: its raining guys! a plane to Dreamland is waiting for me. daa~